


All I Want For Christmas

by Looralullaby



Category: The Infernal Devices Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Early Years at the London Institute, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:15:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26376364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Looralullaby/pseuds/Looralullaby
Summary: For Christmas, Will would like everyone but Jem to go away.
Relationships: Jem Carstairs/Will Herondale
Kudos: 39





	All I Want For Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> In this timeline, Will arrived at the Institute in December and Jem arrived early the next year. They’re thirteen, so the drug hasn't altered Jem's appearance yet.

"Brace yourself. Here he comes."

Will uttered this into the ear of his only friend, Jem Carstairs, whose expression instantly bloomed with amusement. It was the annual Christmas party at the London Institute--Jem's first--and much to Will's relief, Jem seemed to be in good health tonight. Cheeks flush with color, but without the rosy glow of fever. In his gray-vested suit and tidy dark hair, he looked as genteel as any of the men at Portland Place. Will, on the other hand, had lost his jacket hours before and his hair was a jungle of curls.

Side-eyeing the boy approaching them, Jem spoke slowly. "Honestly Will, I don't believe he's half as bad as you say he is. _You're_ the one who read out his sister's diary, if anything he should--"

"And broke his arm."

"Pardon?"

"Yes, one of my shockingly finer moments. I only wish you were there to pat me gently on the head and offer me a treat for my good behavior."

Jem's cheeks flowered at that, and Will thought perhaps rosy wasn't so bad afterall.

"I do not do that," Jem said, jostling his shoulder.

Will kept close to Jem's ear, laughing. "Yes but sometimes you rather wish you could. Am I wrong?"

"One could hardly blame me for leashing _you_ , Herondale. I think Gabriel might agree with me on that."

At his words, an unexpected spike of jealousy lodged in Will's gut. He wished he could pull it out and drive it straight through Gabriel Lightwood's heart. Gabriel, who had finally stopped in front of them, looking haughty and expectant and overall rather idiotic. He dragged his gaze over Will, eyes glittering an acid green.

"What a displeasure to see you Will. As always."

Will did a mock little bow. "And you're looking exceptionally lovely tonight Gabriel. Care for a dance? Or you could direct me to your sister, I'm sure she's gagging to see me again--"

An elbow to the gut stopped Will. Gabriel's eyes flicked to Jem, fine brows arching.

Will wanted to push Jem behind him, to hide Jem away until the end of the party and things returned to normal again. When it could be just himself and Jem, alone, hurtling off on wild adventures together. But Will buried those urges, crossing his arms over his chest, and smiled like the serpent in the garden

"Allow me to introduce Jem Carstairs. He hails from the Shanghai Institute, where news of your defeat is just as widespread as it is here. What do you say we make it two out of three? I'll even give you a fighting chance this time and tie my hands behind my back."

"Hello Gabriel," Jem said, as if Will was a noisy breeze through a shutter. "it's nice to meet you."

Gabriel squinted at Jem, slowly drawing his tongue over his upper lip. He was clearly trying very hard to ignore Will's provocations, which only made Will want to devil him more. "Carstairs eh? My father told me about you. And your...condition."

Will's whole body tightened and he aimed a threatening glare at Gabriel.

To his surprise, Gabriel was cowed by it and for a moment looked almost guilty. "And I'm--ahem--sorry about your family," he said.

"Thank you, I appreciate it." Jem bestowed one of his gracious smiles on Gabriel. A wasted effort, in Will's opinion. "I'm very grateful the shadowhunters here have been so accommodating."

"So you're staying at the London institute for the time being? You have my condolences for that as well."

"What ever do you mean?" Jem asked, as if he hadn't already heard the whole story from Will. Why he was playing ignorant, Will hadn't a clue, but he was game for anything that antagonized Gabriel further.

Gabriel jerked his chin at Will.

"If you haven't noticed, you're standing next to a demon in shadowhunters' clothing. "

Will let loose a derisive snort. "Gideon is over by the banquet table, actually. And making a dreadful mess of himself I must say. Poor thing has never heard of a napkin."

"He stole my sister's diary." Gabriel levelled a threatening finger at Will. "And read it out to the whole Christmas party last year!"

" _Schadenfreude_ , darling. I didn't mean any harm."

"It _is_ an awful thing he did," Jem admitted. "I apologize on his behalf, to you and to Tatiana.

Gabriel blinked several times, as if he'd walked into a swarm of gnats and perhaps swallowed a few. "Well...thank you. It's nice to know _someone_ at the London Institute has some integrity. My father held a great deal of respect for Jonah Carstairs, and you seem to be following in his footsteps. If you ever yearn for better company, I'm sure you'd be welcome at our house in Chiswick."

"Oh my, there's little Tatiana," Will said loudly. "Should I go over and say hello?

All of Gabriel's attention was redirected at him, face contorting with rage.

“You take one step toward her and I'll--I'll--"

"You'll?"

Gabriel took a step forward, and wearing his most wicked grin, Will did the same. He'd been restricted to the training room for months, being too young for most demon-hunting missions, and now he was thirsting for a real fight. His angel blood was stirring, already starting to sing when a calm voice hushed all the others.

"Enough William."

The tension drained out of Will. He looked over his shoulder, into Jem's worried face, and a dose of fondness cooled his veins.

"Of course, James. But I'll expect a treat later."

The worry fled, Jem was laughing, and Will was disgustingly pleased with himself. Gabriel's eyes darted between them, wrought with confusion.

"Did I forget to mention?" Will said with relish, truly unable to help himself. "Jem is my future parabatai."

Gabriel's face paled. Jem, still overtaken by fits of giggles, was unable to contradict him. But he did send a curious glance Will's way.

"You're still in the market for your own parabatai, if I'm not mistaken?" Will brows were knit in sympathy, but the edge of his mouth curved upwards. "Don't give up. With all the money your father has embezzled from the Clave over the years, I'm certain you could bribe some poor lad to do the job."

"Do you think I'm jealous?" Gabriel sneered. "Oh hardly. I'd rather be alone than form a bond that won't outlast the year.”

Will's amusement died, his triumph turned to ash. "I'd suggest keeping your mouth shut or you won't outlast the night."

Gabriel's gaze landed on something over Jem's shoulder. "Lovely chat," he said, distractedly. "Until next time. If Herondale isn't ripped apart by a Shax demon by then, and Carstairs hasn't succumbed to an overdose."

Will would've leapt for Gabriel's throat if Benedict Lightwood and Consul Wayland had not appeared at that very moment, strolling out from behind them. Benedict dropped a hand on Gabriel's shoulder and gave it a white-knuckled squeeze. "Here he is," Benedict said.

"We've been looking for you all night, boy. I thought we might have a word."

"Of course, Consul." Gabriel cast around with a smug smile. "Happy Christmas."

Will and Jem watched their three retreating backs until they disappeared into the crowd. And then they stood there in crackling silence. Personally, Will was ruminating over how he would strangle Gabriel before the end of the night.

"I take it your invitation to Chiswick has been retracted," Will said, mostly to rescue Jem from his thoughts, which he suspected were not going down a lighted path. "Sorry about that."

Jem let out a long sigh. "I'll try to cope with my disappointment."

They met eyes and burst out laughing. Will tried not to linger on the flecks of silver in Jem's dark brown irises, flashing and winking out like stars.

"Want to steal pudding from the kitchens?" Jem asked with that same faux innocence he'd used on Gabriel.

It made Will's mouth split into a grin. He grabbed Jem's arm, hauling him forward.

"Come on then, I'm starving."

❄ ❄ ❄

They sat on the edge of the balcony, their legs hanging between the bars of the balustrade and the winter wind nipping cruelly at their cheeks. A white whirlpool swirled in the empty sky and flooded the gardens below in pearly light. The French doors behind them were shut, but that wasn't enough to mask the noise of the ballroom: choirs of voices, laughter, and merry music floated through the glass.

"What's that you've got in yours?" Will asked through a mouthful of pudding.

"Lemon cream, I think."

"No fair. Mine's only got raisins."

Jem scooped out a generous portion and affably held out his spoon. Will closed his mouth around it. He took a moment to savor the citrus on his tongue before he swallowed, licking his lips.

"Another bite?" Jem offered. He was scraping his spoon along the bottom of his bowl.

"It's alright," Will said, leaning back on his hands. "We can always go back for seconds."

They sat for several minutes like that, surrounded by quiet companionship. Done with his pudding, Jem set his bowl off to the side and folded his hands in his lap. The music from the ballroom had transformed into a gossamer veil of strings and Will could see Jem's foot swaying with the tempo. He wondered if Jem, too, was missing his family on Christmas. Cecily and his parents had been on Will's mind all day. When he concentrated hard enough, he could still remember what Ella had looked like on their last Christmas together, in her flowing nightgown and her inky curls piled on top of her head.

"You know, you didn't have to intervene," Jem spoke, startling Will out of his reverie. "I wouldn't have said yes."

Will rustled. "I know that," he said, carelessly, as if it made no difference. Then he blushed when he realized Jem hadn't specified what he was talking about. Yet Will had known immediately. "Besides, what do I care if you go to bloody Chiswick? Move there, if you want. Become best friends with Gabriel. I don't care."

Jem snorted.

"I think I'd rather befriend a _drevak_ , thanks. Much better countenance."

The corner of Will's mouth quirked. "And straighter teeth as well."

They shared a laugh, but it faded after only a few seconds. Silence sprouted and thickened between them, uncomfortably fast.

"About those seconds--," Jem began.

"I meant it. I want to be parabatai."

Jem sighed. "I know Will." He was staring out at the gardens, his profile almost eerie against the black sky. Porcelain pale skin and fragile features fixed into place, like an ice sculpture.

"So what do you think?" Will asked, his heart thumping faster. "You know we make an excellent team, and there's no one else in the world I'd rather have. It's only you Jem, or it's no one at all."

Jem finally turned, meeting Will's hopeful gaze with his steady one.

"Absolutely not."

"But _Jem_ \--"

"Let me first. Gabriel, he--well, as much as it pains me to say it, he was right about one thing. If we forged a bond, it wouldn't last. A year if we're lucky, probably less, and it would only end up hurting you--"

"I don't care about that!"

Jem's composure seemed to crumple. "Yes I _know_ you don't care. _That's_ the problem, William, you're so eager for pain, as if you believe you're deserving of some sort of punishment. And I won't let you use me as a bludgeon to harm yourself."

"That's _not_ why I asked you," Will said fiercely. "You are more than a best friend to me, more than a brother even. I--I don't think I could live without you by my side. I wouldn't want to."

"Not five minutes ago you were shipping me off to Chiswick--"

"I was terrified. Can you blame me, after what I've just told you? Ever since I learned of the existence of parabatai, I knew that's what I wanted for us. The deepest bond we could possibly share. We are already bound in spirit-- _for whither thou goest, I will go_. Is that not already true? I swear to you, this is not one of my bids for self-sabotage. It's the most selfish thing I will ask of you, but I will ask anyway because I don't have your nobility or your grace. Will you be parabatai with me?"

Will swallowed, his throat feeling dry and wrecked after his little speech. He needed to gasp for air, but his body couldn't seem to handle anything more than shallow breathing. He had to wait for Jem's answer. Had to know.

After only a second's consideration, Jem shook his head. Will's heart sank into his stomach.

"Another lifetime, I wouldn't hesitate," Jem said, equally as heartbroken. "But it can't be done Will. It just can't."

Will slid his legs out from between the bars of the balustrade and pulled them toward his chest. He folded his arms on his knees and sat there.

Scowling. Brooding.

"I'll never stop asking," he declared. Because if Will's curse had granted him anything, it was a determination as strong as _adamas_.

A smile budded on Jem's lips, and there was that utterly soft look in his eyes that he reserved solely for Will and Will alone. "Somehow that doesn't surprise me."

From the ballroom, there was an upsurge of noise, scolding voices clashing over excited ones.

Jem twisted his head to look over his shoulder." I think they're opening presents in there."

"Let them have their fun," Will scoffed. "We likely didn't get anything, and if I see Gabriel's gloating face one more time, I think my restraint will melt away completely. Not that I had much to begin with."

Jem hummed. "Which reminds me…"

Will turned at Jem's odd tone of voice. For the first time, Will became aware of how very close they were sitting. Jem's shoulder was warm against his, the burnt sweetness of the drug tingling in Will's nose and spoiling the back of his tongue.

Will cleared his throat. "Yes?" He was staring at Jem's face, not just his profile this time, but the much more forgiving frontal view. From the elegant slant of Jem's dark eyes to the gentle slope of his nose, his delicate high cheekbones that weren't as gaunt as when he'd arrived at the Institute but still noticeably sharp...and the soft pink line of his mouth.

"I owe you a treat, don't I?" Jem said. "I'll have it double as my Christmas present."

"Oh. Right."

"Are you ready for it?"

Jem hadn’t waited for a response. He was leaning forward, their faces growing closer than ever. Suddenly Will could count the individual lashes curving over Jem's eyes, could make out each silver speck scattered among the brown.

Having the strangest inclination he was about to be kissed, Will's eyelids fluttered shut. He stilled completely. His chest seemed to fold in on itself and his heartbeat leaked through, clumsy and desperate.

A hand buried itself in Will's hair. But the press of warm lips never came.

The hand was moving, Jem was ruffling his curls. Apparently that was all he'd ever intended to do. Will's eyes flew open, face hot with embarrassment.

Either Jem had not noticed Will's reaction, or he was fathoms better at his innocent routine than Will thought. He was smiling like an unwrapped present, open and sweet and entirely unexpected.

"Happy Christmas Will."


End file.
